The hutch got cleaned folks, the hutch got cleaned!
Since writing about my cleaning troubles I've been so much more aware of leaving things undone or not putting things away when I'm finished with them. I'm trying to be better. The other day I painted my nails and almost left the nail polish on the coffee table. I thought to myself, "No, Becca. Put it away." So, I took it to the bathroom and then almost set it on the countertop. Then I said to myself, "No, Becca. You came all the way into the bathroom to put that away. Finish the job!" (By "all the way into the bathroom" I of course meant all 10 steps.) Then I put it in the little red bucket where it belongs. Hooray me!
As we were doing our taxes earlier this year, Blake and I discovered It'sDeductible.com. We were too late for last year, but are happily tracking our donations for this year. Whenever we've donated stuff to charity in the past and had to estimate the value of the donation I've gotten this terrible sense of guilt. I want to be honest about how much I'm giving but then wonder if I'm overestimating the value of my donation to try to get a few more dollars on my tax refund. I mean, taking advantage of a charity for tax purposes is pretty sleazy. Turns out, I've been way underestimating the value of my donations! Our current donation pile of clothes, shoes, kitchen stuff, and electronics is up near $1000. Cool beans.
I also endorse selling things online. I've already got a few textbooks listed for sale on Amazon. After going through our media shelf, I listed several more books, some CDs, and quite a few DVDs for sale today. We've already sold two DVDs. I also listed a few things on Craigslist that we don't want to ship---too much hassel for bigger items. We've set a time limit on our items. If they don't sell when the time runs out, they're going away in the next charity donation. We don't want to have our "inventory" sitting around indefinitely. Hooray for uncluttering our house!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
On the parental third person
I used to think it was so weird that parents refer to themselves in the third person. "Hold on. Mommy's coming." "It's okay. Daddy's right here." At one point in time I thought to myself, "That's just weird. I'm not going to to that when I have kids. I'll just say 'me' and 'mine' and 'I' like a normal person."
Our baby wasn't three days old before Blake and I were referring to ourselves and 'Mommy' and 'Daddy.' I do that all the time now. Is there some kind of chemical change that happens, some switch that gets flipped in our brains that makes us do that? I still think it's weird.
We haven't started calling each other 'Mom' and 'Dad' . . . yet. I don't think we ever will, because that's just a whole new level of weird. But then again, who knows? I thought I'd be able to escape the parental third person, and I was dead wrong on that one.
'Who's your daddy?'
Our baby wasn't three days old before Blake and I were referring to ourselves and 'Mommy' and 'Daddy.' I do that all the time now. Is there some kind of chemical change that happens, some switch that gets flipped in our brains that makes us do that? I still think it's weird.
We haven't started calling each other 'Mom' and 'Dad' . . . yet. I don't think we ever will, because that's just a whole new level of weird. But then again, who knows? I thought I'd be able to escape the parental third person, and I was dead wrong on that one.
'Who's your daddy?'
Thursday, July 21, 2011
On keeping my house clean
I have problems. Keeping my house clean is a struggle. I'm really organized in my thoughts and my time but only half-way organized with my stuff. It annoys me to no end, but somehow I can't change, at least not yet. I hold on to the hope that some day I'll get a handle on it.
When my mom came to visit last month for my graduation I was able to get our extra bedroom and bathroom cleaned and set up for her. My plan was to take advantage of someone to watch Bonnie and get the rest of my house clean after my mom got here. It seemed to be working great. I was so proud of how good my kitchen and living room looked. I even had time to clean our bathroom. Then, I went into our bedroom and found it to be much messier than when I started. Disheartened, I realized I hadn't really cleaned, I'd just shuffled around the clutter. This is the story of my life. I can't remember a time when I wasn't like this, but I hate it!
I get feeling motivated and start on a project. I'll get going good and then abandon it when it's 90% complete. Remember how I cleaned my living room while my mom was here? Well, I almost got it done. I didn't quite finish with the china hutch. I had planned to dust inside and clean the glass. I put the furniture polish and rag on the counter next to the hutch because I had every intention of doing it. One month later, the polish and rag are still sitting right where I left them. The hutch never got cleaned.
Blake's just as bad. Last night he ambitiously took apart and reassembled our media case to better hide the plug and cords behind it. (We rearranged the living room furniture recently.) He did actually finish the job but left the tool box in the middle of the floor. These stories could go on and on. On the one hand I guess it's kind of good that we're both like this: it keeps us from getting too frustrated with each other over it. On the other hand, however, it's very not good that we're both like this. How can we help each other when we've both got the same problem?
We're trying to be better. After we decided to renew the lease on our apartment, we rented a small storage unit. With the addition of all the baby things into our life, our apartment closets just weren't cutting it anymore. I'd like to be able to live and not need to pay for extra storage, but we're not there yet. One positive from this is that we've been using our camping gear. We had all this really nice camping gear tightly packed into our laundry room that we were never using. It was too hard to get to. Now that it's conveniently near the door of our storage unit (and that means we don't have to carry it down and then back up two flights of stairs) we're using it! We haven't even had the unit for a whole month yet and we've already headed to the mountains twice for cookouts. It's so nice.
We're trying very hard to unclutter our lives. It's hard. I've got a pile of stuff ready to donate, and that feels good. But then I look around my house and realize I've only scratched the surface. I really don't want this to be another project I get 90% complete and abandon. I need to finish. If anyone out there has suggestions for us, I'd gladly take them. How do you keep your house clean? How can I get myself to finish my cleaning projects? And why do I get so far over and over again only to stop right before it's done? Help!
*I do not live in a hoarder-house. I just proofread this post and realized it sounded like I live in piles and piles of junk. It's not that bad. It's just that I feel burdened by my stuff. There are things that were gifts that I feel like I have to keep or that I feel guilty giving away, there are things I'm attached to because of memories that go with them, and then there are things that I might need someday or that are still in great condition even though I never use them.
When my mom came to visit last month for my graduation I was able to get our extra bedroom and bathroom cleaned and set up for her. My plan was to take advantage of someone to watch Bonnie and get the rest of my house clean after my mom got here. It seemed to be working great. I was so proud of how good my kitchen and living room looked. I even had time to clean our bathroom. Then, I went into our bedroom and found it to be much messier than when I started. Disheartened, I realized I hadn't really cleaned, I'd just shuffled around the clutter. This is the story of my life. I can't remember a time when I wasn't like this, but I hate it!
I get feeling motivated and start on a project. I'll get going good and then abandon it when it's 90% complete. Remember how I cleaned my living room while my mom was here? Well, I almost got it done. I didn't quite finish with the china hutch. I had planned to dust inside and clean the glass. I put the furniture polish and rag on the counter next to the hutch because I had every intention of doing it. One month later, the polish and rag are still sitting right where I left them. The hutch never got cleaned.
Blake's just as bad. Last night he ambitiously took apart and reassembled our media case to better hide the plug and cords behind it. (We rearranged the living room furniture recently.) He did actually finish the job but left the tool box in the middle of the floor. These stories could go on and on. On the one hand I guess it's kind of good that we're both like this: it keeps us from getting too frustrated with each other over it. On the other hand, however, it's very not good that we're both like this. How can we help each other when we've both got the same problem?
We're trying to be better. After we decided to renew the lease on our apartment, we rented a small storage unit. With the addition of all the baby things into our life, our apartment closets just weren't cutting it anymore. I'd like to be able to live and not need to pay for extra storage, but we're not there yet. One positive from this is that we've been using our camping gear. We had all this really nice camping gear tightly packed into our laundry room that we were never using. It was too hard to get to. Now that it's conveniently near the door of our storage unit (and that means we don't have to carry it down and then back up two flights of stairs) we're using it! We haven't even had the unit for a whole month yet and we've already headed to the mountains twice for cookouts. It's so nice.
We're trying very hard to unclutter our lives. It's hard. I've got a pile of stuff ready to donate, and that feels good. But then I look around my house and realize I've only scratched the surface. I really don't want this to be another project I get 90% complete and abandon. I need to finish. If anyone out there has suggestions for us, I'd gladly take them. How do you keep your house clean? How can I get myself to finish my cleaning projects? And why do I get so far over and over again only to stop right before it's done? Help!
*I do not live in a hoarder-house. I just proofread this post and realized it sounded like I live in piles and piles of junk. It's not that bad. It's just that I feel burdened by my stuff. There are things that were gifts that I feel like I have to keep or that I feel guilty giving away, there are things I'm attached to because of memories that go with them, and then there are things that I might need someday or that are still in great condition even though I never use them.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
On asking the church to help you move
(Warning: this is a rant.)
Don't do it. Well, not "don't" but do so cautiously.
This week has been one of those weeks where it seems one church activity or another has taken all our free time. I want to ignore the door and turn off the phones and just say "no more." Three nights in a row this week Blake was out doing something church related after work. That meant he saw Bonnie for half an hour or so before he left for work and that she was asleep or nearly asleep by the time he got home. That's sad for both of them and sucky for me. I got to deal with an overtired, teething, fussy baby all by myself. (This full-time parent stuff is no joke, but that's a topic for another post.)
Right now, he's gone to help someone move. The person he's helping move isn't even a member of our congregation. It's a friend of a friend of someone, and they called the elder's quorum to help out. That's what they do, right? Help with moves? We did actually have plans for our Saturday, but this move has thrown a wrench in them. They may have to be scrapped entirely if it goes too long. What's worse is that this weekend is supposed to be one of those hotter-than-hell weekends, the kind of days where the weather service warns people to just stay inside. And this person has scheduled their move for 11:00 on Saturday. Seriously? I sent Blake with lots of ice water, and he was wearing a hat, but that's hardly an adequate defense against the heat.
It's not that I have a problem with any individual person or family who asks the elder's quorum to help them move; it's what happens system-wide with these moves that bothers me. First, Moving's a pain. No one really wants to spend his Saturday moving. So, very few people show up to help with moves. It ends up being the same couple of nice guys or guys with callings in the elder's quorum presidency who help every time. Sometimes it's just one guy who shows up to help. This means all the moves take way longer than they need to. Second, the people who request help with moving often do so at the last minute and/or are unprepared when church members show up to help them. Last week someone called the day of the move. This week it was two days before the move. That's not enough time for the presidency to find volunteers or pass around a sign-up sheet. So, they end up doing it themselves, often after a long week of being away from their families and free time completing the responsibilities of a time-intensive calling.
So, I would like to propose a few guidelines for movers:
1) Plan ahead. In most cases you know you'll be moving months (or at least weeks) before the actual day arrives.
2) Do what you can for yourself. Pack your own boxes. Rent or arrange your own truck. (Yet another reason I plan to never own a truck: we will get called to help with every move.)
3) Go to your friends and family members for help first. Hire movers if you can. Experience has taught me that unskilled, unpaid help is not always the gentlest on your belongings.
4) When you've gone through the above steps, you may then ask for help from your ward. This is appropriate if you're moving to a new state or whole new area where you don't have any friends or family to help.
5) Choose a day and time that are convenient for those who are helping you move. 11:00 on any Saturday is not generally a convenient time and definitely not in triple-digit heat.
6) Overestimate how much stuff you have and how long it will take to move it. Likely, you'll still be under the actual time it will take. If not, people would way rather plan for a 4-hour move and have it take 2 than to plan for a 1-hour move and have it take 4.
7) Be ready when the time for the move comes.
8) Work along with your movers. Don't just watch them work. Even if you can't do much, do what you can.
9) Provide drinks and snacks or even a meal for those who have volunteered to help.
10) Be grateful. Say "Thank you" a lot! Learn the names of the people there and send them a card or remember that you owe them one and be willing to return the favor when they need it.
That is all.
Rant over.
Don't do it. Well, not "don't" but do so cautiously.
This week has been one of those weeks where it seems one church activity or another has taken all our free time. I want to ignore the door and turn off the phones and just say "no more." Three nights in a row this week Blake was out doing something church related after work. That meant he saw Bonnie for half an hour or so before he left for work and that she was asleep or nearly asleep by the time he got home. That's sad for both of them and sucky for me. I got to deal with an overtired, teething, fussy baby all by myself. (This full-time parent stuff is no joke, but that's a topic for another post.)
Right now, he's gone to help someone move. The person he's helping move isn't even a member of our congregation. It's a friend of a friend of someone, and they called the elder's quorum to help out. That's what they do, right? Help with moves? We did actually have plans for our Saturday, but this move has thrown a wrench in them. They may have to be scrapped entirely if it goes too long. What's worse is that this weekend is supposed to be one of those hotter-than-hell weekends, the kind of days where the weather service warns people to just stay inside. And this person has scheduled their move for 11:00 on Saturday. Seriously? I sent Blake with lots of ice water, and he was wearing a hat, but that's hardly an adequate defense against the heat.
It's not that I have a problem with any individual person or family who asks the elder's quorum to help them move; it's what happens system-wide with these moves that bothers me. First, Moving's a pain. No one really wants to spend his Saturday moving. So, very few people show up to help with moves. It ends up being the same couple of nice guys or guys with callings in the elder's quorum presidency who help every time. Sometimes it's just one guy who shows up to help. This means all the moves take way longer than they need to. Second, the people who request help with moving often do so at the last minute and/or are unprepared when church members show up to help them. Last week someone called the day of the move. This week it was two days before the move. That's not enough time for the presidency to find volunteers or pass around a sign-up sheet. So, they end up doing it themselves, often after a long week of being away from their families and free time completing the responsibilities of a time-intensive calling.
So, I would like to propose a few guidelines for movers:
1) Plan ahead. In most cases you know you'll be moving months (or at least weeks) before the actual day arrives.
2) Do what you can for yourself. Pack your own boxes. Rent or arrange your own truck. (Yet another reason I plan to never own a truck: we will get called to help with every move.)
3) Go to your friends and family members for help first. Hire movers if you can. Experience has taught me that unskilled, unpaid help is not always the gentlest on your belongings.
4) When you've gone through the above steps, you may then ask for help from your ward. This is appropriate if you're moving to a new state or whole new area where you don't have any friends or family to help.
5) Choose a day and time that are convenient for those who are helping you move. 11:00 on any Saturday is not generally a convenient time and definitely not in triple-digit heat.
6) Overestimate how much stuff you have and how long it will take to move it. Likely, you'll still be under the actual time it will take. If not, people would way rather plan for a 4-hour move and have it take 2 than to plan for a 1-hour move and have it take 4.
7) Be ready when the time for the move comes.
8) Work along with your movers. Don't just watch them work. Even if you can't do much, do what you can.
9) Provide drinks and snacks or even a meal for those who have volunteered to help.
10) Be grateful. Say "Thank you" a lot! Learn the names of the people there and send them a card or remember that you owe them one and be willing to return the favor when they need it.
That is all.
Rant over.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
On uncles
I wanted to get this post out in time for Father's Day, but . . . that didn't happen. So, it's here now.
Growing up there was my dad and then my stepdad. Over the long run, relationships with them were . . . hmmm, let's say . . . inconsistent. From time to time, on those poor-me kind of days, this is something I'd feel bad about. Then one day it hit me: I have the best uncles a girl could dream of!
As I think back over the major events of my life--all the times when a dad would be there for a kid--I see that I had an uncle there every step of the way.
Uncle Lou was at my baptism. Uncle Dennis came to father-daughter activities at church. Uncle Allan was at my senior year piano recital and gave me a "father's" blessing before I started college.
Uncle Allan was there the first time I went to the temple.
While on my mission, Uncle Lou sent me a binder of inspirational quotes and stories organized by topic that he said he'd given to all his sons when they left on their missions. Uncle Lou was also at my college graduation. Scott was graduating at the same time, which is why Lou made the trip, but still, he was there.
All three of them were there when I got married. Blake had to meet them all and get their approval first, of course.
And Uncle Dennis was there when we blessed our first child.
I remember camping and hiking and road tripping with all of them. Christmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays and summer vacations. Uncle Lou was the go-to guy when I got tar on my feet at the beach. Uncle Allan was always up for a true-life adventure. Uncle Dennis kept Ben and I entertained on a road trip to Yellowstone.
Now, as an adult, I think about them often. In classes or with clients or for personal reference, when I need to think of a model for healthy marriage relationships, I look to my uncles (and aunts). When I need an example or point of comparison for what normal dads do and are (insert joke here about how no one in our family is "normal"), I think of my uncles.
I can say without doubt that I am a better, healthier, more well-rounded person because of my uncles. I love you! Happy Father's Day!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
On graduation
With classmates/coworkers Crystal and Wendy, two of the best friends I'll ever have.
Classic.
Baby Bonnie is so happy!
Except when Mom and Dad kiss. That's gross.
(My mom and Blake's parents came all the way from Utah for graduation. Somehow I can't find the pictures of them. We got a new computer, and I don't know where the files are. Blake shoots all the pics in "camera raw" and then does fancy pants things with them in photoshop. So, maybe when he gets home we'll get some more graduation pics up. Realistically though, this might be all you get.)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
On the Sunday graduation debate
My graduation happens next Sunday. My school has the 8 am time slot. While it's a pain to have to get there by 7, this is actually the best time. I hear that later in the day the hall gets uncomfortably hot after having hundreds of bodies in it all day long; the AC just can't keep up. We'll also be able to greet people and take photos outside before it becomes miserably hot in the Inland Empire.
But, 8 am Sunday for the ceremony means we could make it to church that day. There's a part of me that thinks we should pack a nice picnic kind of brunch to eat after graduation and then go to church right after. Then there's this other part that thinks I would really like to take my family out to brunch after graduation. After all, this graduation only happens once in my life. And, the University is Adventist and observes the Sabbath on Saturday, so graduation is on Sunday in respect for the Sabbath. So that kind of makes it okay for me to go out on Sunday after graduation, right? It's because of observing the Sabbath, right?
Blake says it's pretty much my decision since this is my graduation and that he'll go along with whatever I want. What do you think?
But, 8 am Sunday for the ceremony means we could make it to church that day. There's a part of me that thinks we should pack a nice picnic kind of brunch to eat after graduation and then go to church right after. Then there's this other part that thinks I would really like to take my family out to brunch after graduation. After all, this graduation only happens once in my life. And, the University is Adventist and observes the Sabbath on Saturday, so graduation is on Sunday in respect for the Sabbath. So that kind of makes it okay for me to go out on Sunday after graduation, right? It's because of observing the Sabbath, right?
Blake says it's pretty much my decision since this is my graduation and that he'll go along with whatever I want. What do you think?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)