On a quick trip to Utah

I'm making a quick trip to Utah this week.  There's a 4 day training on Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples that I'll be attending.  This is awesome to me for a couple of reasons.  First, I'm working with EFT for my big final case project coming up.  So, extra training can only help me do better on that.  Second, I've been reading things lately about how couples therapy is the hardest type of therapy and that most therapists get very little if any training in how to work with couples.  Historically therapist training has focused on individuals or parent-child interactions.  I actually like working with couples.  So, getting extra training in EFT, which is especially designed for couples, is extra awesome in getting me expertise that not everyone has.  Third,  we don't know where we're going to live after I graduate next year, and making a few networking connections in Salt Lake by attending the conference there can't hurt.

Any extra time I have while I'm in town will be spent with my mommy.  She's recovering from surgery.  In fact, when I get in, we're going right from the airport to the hospital to get her staples taken out.  My mom's surgery was the added motivation I needed to get myself to this conference and a big part of why I chose the Salt Lake location instead of San Diego (also, the San Diego one was more expensive).

The long and short of it is, I'm going to be in Utah for a few days but probably won't see any of my people there.  Sorry.  My trip has two very specific and time intensive purposes.  Hopefully I can catch you all when we're in town for the holidays.

On choosing a name for the baby

Somehow picking out a name for the new baby isn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be.  I feel so much pressure to pick out the right name.  We, well I, don't want to go with something too weird, that no one will ever pronounce or spell correctly.  We also don't want a name that is so common that she always has to go by her first name and last initial either.

We have a couple names of family members that we like.  We also have a couple non-family but completely adorable names that we like.  Somehow writing them out seems so final, like it's going to be one of these.  I also think I should check with Blake before I go posting our options.  We haven't really discussed how public we want to be with our decision making process.

For now, anyone have any advice or encouraging words about how to choose a name for a baby?  When did you decide?  Are we freaking out way too early?  And now, snack time for me and 'lil what's-her-name.  She's hungry.

On siblings

My family therapy textbooks tell me that sibling relationships are the longest, most consistent relationships most people will have throughout their lives.  Parents die.  Coworkers and neighbors are transient.  Friendships fade.  Spouses come and go.  With the exception of a few short years on either side, siblings are with us throughout our entire lives.  We have more in common with them than anyone else.

My experience seems to corroborate this finding.  I don't remember Grandma Jean or Grandpa Hook talking too much about friends, but they sure talked about and spent a lot of time with their siblings.  My mom had surgery yesterday.  Who took her to the hospital, waited during the surgery, and called me and Ben after it was over?  Her brothers.  I'm so glad that she has them and her sister.

Sometimes I get jealous of sibling relationships.  Mine aren't normal, if there even is such a thing.  I want to make it clear that I would not trade Ben for anything in the world.  Still, our sibling relationship isn't equal; he'll always depend on me.  I have a half-brother and half-sister; we have the same dad.  We didn't see each other much growing up and aren't close now.  My sister has told me she doesn't really think of me as a sister.  It's kind of sad, but it's okay.  I understand.

I get jealous sometimes when I hear people talk about how much they love their sisters or how nice it is to go to their brothers for advice.  I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone, but sometimes I get kind of sad when I hear it.  I wonder, 30 years from now, if Blake wasn't around, who would be there to take me to the hospital, wait with me, and call my kids to let them know it's okay?  More likely than not, there will be a time when I will need to care for my aging mother, and I won't have a sibling to help me make the decisions about how that should be done.  I wonder who will help me many, many years in the future when I need to plan a funeral and settle affairs.

I don't mean to be a downer or to make anyone feel sorry for me.  I have a great life.  I have a wonderful extended family and have always been blessed with wonderful friends.  I'm sure when I need one, a "brother" or "sister" will be there to help me get through.  They just won't be the kind of brothers and sisters who share biological parents.  These are things I think about.  Thanks for reading.