On Blake

I received some crap about posting on my reading chair the weekend after I got engaged to Blake. Well, people, let me explain how my brain works. I have things in order, and reading chair was next. I had to get it out of the way before I could write about Blake. Just so that everyone knows where I'm going with this, I'm going to explain my plan. This post is about Blake and how I got to know him. When I get around to it, the next post after that will be the story of our engagement. On deck after that is a post about wedding planning.

I first noticed Blake when he taught a Sunday School lesson in our singles ward in Salt Lake. He had his name written all graphically cool in the corner of the board and I thought to myself "Who is this joker?" His lesson was pretty impressive, and I decided he was an alright sort of dude. We didn't really "meet" until the ward Bear Lake activity. We ended up on the same boat water skiing. It was my first time. I was impressed by how nice and friendly Blake was. He asked me the normal get-to-know-you kind of questions, but really seemed to listen to my answers and be interested in me. I felt comfortable with him from the very beginning. We spent most of the day together and he even gave me a ride home.

Blake and I spent the next month or so really getting to know one another as friends. We talked at church and emailed and chatted online. I so enjoyed getting to know him. We connected on a lot of levels. I can only really speak for myself, but I found that the best, most confident parts of myself came out when I was talking with Blake. He has all the good qualities that I was looking for. He's smart and funny and laughs at my jokes. He listens well and is attentive to me, has a great family, and is artistically talented. Check out his awesome graffiti skills! I'm so proud of him.

Our relationship progressed rather quickly, mostly because I was moving to California. We both knew that I was moving and this precipitated a lot of conversations about how we felt about each other and where we saw our relationship going. Again, I can only speak for myself, but I was so impressed with Blake and felt so good when I was with him that I was willing to take some more significant risks than usual. And . . . it was totally worth it!

*Can anyone help me with posting photos? I can't seem to get them to appear after the text. Maybe it's really simple and I'm an idiot, but I'd appreciate any pointers.

On a reading chair

I read a lot. For many years that has been a direct result of me being in school. The good thing is that I enjoy it. I still read a lot when I'm not in school as well. I just love a good book. Sometimes, I even like textbooks (but don't tell anyone because that's SUPER nerdy). I like getting caught up in ideas and stories.

For a superior reading experience, on really needs a good reading chair. As I moved from crappy apartment to crappy apartment around Provo, I noticed that in every place I lived I tended to have a certain reading spot. Sometimes it was just one corner of the couch, but I really prefer a good reading chair. When I moved down to California and finally got a bed in my place, I realized that I would also need a good reading chair. Now that it's here I can really get down to the business of reading the million pages I have assigned this quarter. Hooray for graduate school!

PS This is the first picture I've posted on my blog. I'm still trying to figure out how to make it awesome.

On not hiking the Subway

I met up with friends in St George last weekend to hike the Subway. We had a permit for 8 people but 11 showed up. Blake has hiked it before, so he bowed out. I, of course, went with him. In the end, I'm so glad that I did that. I'm a little afraid of heights, and when I saw the pictures our friends took on the hike I was so glad I didn't go. There were some rappels in there that would have scared the tar out of me if not something worse.

I still had a wonderfully relaxing day, which was nice after the craziness of my first week of graduate school. Blake and I got to help our friends out by driving them to the trailhead and then leaving a car for them at the trail end. Then we had an almost-running-out-of-gas adventure. Thank goodness for the Chevron in Springdale! We laid out a blanket on the sandy banks of the Virgin River and took a much needed nap. Not going on the hike also gave us some time alone to have some very important conversations about the future of our relatinoship. (And we might have kissed, just a little.)

After our nap we went to the park entrance and had lunch: dino-sammiches and bananas and gold fish crackers and beef jerky. Mmm . . . beefy! Partway through lunch I looked around and realized that there were three other couples around us also enjoying lunch. We were the youngest by a solid 40 years. It was great! We rode the shuttle up to the Temple of Sinawaba and hiked up the Narrows backwards. It was so fun. We also stopped for a shark fruit snack snack. Mmm . . . sharky! And, we got to meet up with the group at Famous Dave's for some delicious eats. I LOVE brisket. I didn't realize the amazingness of the beef brisket until my mission in Texas and wondered where it had been all my life. I'll never be the same. Mmmmm . . .sweet sweet brisket.

On leaving work

Last Friday was my last day of work at Partnet. As was to be expected, it took a while for me to transition into my job there and to figure out the company culture and how I fit into it. The fact that my position was brand new didn't help smooth the transition. I gradually got to a comfortable spot and enjoyed my time there.

I knew I had some friends at work but had no idea how much people liked me until I left. My last week at work was filled with well-wishers and compliments. My co-workers even planned a surprise lunch with a fantastic turnout. I had no idea I was so well liked. It's kind of sad that it took my leaving for me to realize that I had become part of the Partnet family.

This experience got me thinking. I wondered how much happier and even more fun my time there would have been if I had known how much people liked me. I wonder why we do that to each other, why we hold back the nice things that could brighten another's day. I feel a new resolve to vocalize my thoughts and feelings, to lift someone else with a smile or a hug or a kind word.

On road trips

I love a good road trip! Last weekend I went up to Jackson, WY to go rafting with some friends. Because I was going home by way of Idaho Falls for Mari's blessing I ended up driving alone. I love that drive. There are so many memories along that road. I passed the spot where I watched a beautiful sunset last year (and ignored a call from my dad that resulted in a month of me being stubborn). I remember that patch of trees and sheep crossing the road over there and what Lyndi and I were talking about as we passed through Afton. I started counting and figure I've made at least 15 trips along that route in the last 10 years. No wonder it feels so good! Like an old friend. It's not the destination so much as the trip that feels like a friend.

Road trip conversations are the best. There's no rush. The conversation is free to wander as it will. I have some really great memories of road trip conversations--some of them are even with other people! Cute and quirky towns, gas station finds, strange bits of history, and good good memories. They're long and sometimes tedious and tiresome and increasingly expensive, but I still love a good road trip!

On angel children

Last Saturday I met my new favorite baby: Mari! I might get pictures up here soon, we'll see. I went to Idaho Falls for her baby blessing. I got to hold her for several hours on Saturday evening and we totally bonded. I talked to her about her blessing that would happen the next day and what she should expect so she wouldn't be scared. I think it worked, too! She behaved like an angel. As tends to happen when one is teaching, I learned something about baby blessings as I talked to Mari about hers. I was looking at her sweet little face--seeing my cousin Patti in her features--and I wondered who she is, what the spirit is like that's inhabiting her little body. I realized that I don't know, but God does and that the baby blessing can be a glimpse into the spirit and personality and characteristics that already exist in this person. She's had a life before birth and God knows her and can let the rest of us know a little of her too. What an awesome blessing! Mari and I are going to be friends forever now because we learned together and felt the Spirit together.

On Sunday after church family and friends were gathered at Patti and Alan's. Patti was in the kitchen with Ryan. I don't know what their interaction was about, but I heard Patti call him "angel boy." I smiled; she has assumed at least one aspect of the parent role that I'm familiar with. Growing up my mom would call me "angel girl." I've heard my aunt call her kids and grandkids angel boys and girls. Not long ago I overheard another cousin refer to his child as "angel boy." This got me wondering where it started. If my cousins do it, and my aunts and uncles, then I think it's safe to assume that my grandmother did it. I wonder for how many generations past and future there have and will be "angel boys" and "angel girls" coming to my family. What a great legacy!

On finding a new me

For background on this post, read my thoughts on relationship deja vu--romantic edition.

I've been talking to this cute boy (maybe I should grow up and call him a handsome or attractive man, which he is) for a couple weeks now. We seem to click pretty well, and I'm having such a good time getting to know him. This little flirtation has been so different from any other. I'm so calm and clear headed about it, at least that's how it seems to me. Knowing that a male has any sort of interest in me at all usually causes me a certain level of anxiety, and I tend to end up thinking that I'm totally crazy and/or hopeless. Not this time! I don't feel panicky at all. I'm having fun. I'm being so confident and direct. It's not a show either. I really feel that way, and it feels great.

I was talking to Kim about it the other day, wondering when I got to be so confident in myself. I was telling her some of the things that I had said to this oh-so-wonderful man, shocked that I had the guts to say them. Kim's take on the issue was that he must bring it out in me, and she also mentioned that Kyle brings out good things in her. Oh! Is that what that's like? I like it!

I don't know what's going to happen. He still has a girlfriend and I'm still moving to California. I don't know what will happen, but I know that I'm really enjoying this. I've found a new me, and I like me.