On being the queen of awkward

The other night I was chatting with a friend online. I decided I wanted to have a little fun and asked if he remembered the first time we met. It was at the MTC when we both worked there and I thought he was going to ask me out for sure. He never really answered me about that but did say that he remembered the day. He even remembered the district I was teaching at the time--I didn't. The conversation was a little strange, and I loved it. The more awkward it got (defining what it means to hit on someone, me telling him he wussed out) the more delighted I became by the conversation. It was great.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine, who will remain unnamed, told me a first kiss story. She was explaining how she thought the guy wanted to kiss her and all the little events that led up to that important moment. The best part was right before the kiss. She said she knew he was going to kiss her because she could hear that he was breathing rapidly and shallowly. I was laughing so hard I could hardly contain myself. I thought the story was awesome. I don't know for how long my friend had to pause in her narrative so that I could get control of myself and listen to the rest of the story. The awkwardness of the situation was incredible--incredibly awesome.

So, there was this guy I had been out on several dates with. I thought he was really cool, but I wasn't sure if he was all that into me. I also considered that maybe he just moves really slow. I wanted to get a read on the situation, so I sent him a Facebook message telling him that. I also told him that it was up to him, that I would be okay either way. I didn't hear back from him for a while. Then yesterday I got a Facebook message from this guy. He said he took a while to write back because he wasn't sure how to respond to what I had written. This time I didn't just enjoy the awkward, I made it. Then, in an attempt to remedy the situation, I most likely made it worse: I wrote back! I just re-read what I wrote, and it doesn't seem bad, but then I never can tell until later.

After all of this, I decided that whether I just enjoy it or create it myself, I am the queen of awkward.