On finding my limits

I'm an ambitious person. I like being busy. I usually feel fulfilled and energized when I've accomplished a lot. The last year or so has been an exercise in finding my limits over and over again.

Working full-time is tiring. The company I work for is particularly difficult. Another therapist in the area said of the agency I work for, "that place is the absolute trenches. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere." I've been here for 2.5 years. It's wearing on me.

The transition I've gone through with Mormonism has devastated me. It has totally turned my life upside down. The changes have affected almost every relationship in my life. It has been absolutely exhausting.

The combination of these circumstances in the same time period has drained my reserves. It has been so difficult for me to come up against my limits over and over again. I have to say no to birthday parties I want to go to, I don't cook like I wish I did. I don't keep in touch with people I miss. I don't run. I don't do too much for myself aside from the bare minimum. This is about all I can do. I just don't have it in me to do much more.

For a while this was completely discouraging. I've come to a point where I know what's going on. I understand why my energy reserves are low, and it makes sense. I am hopeful about the future. We are working on making changes in our lives to alieviate some of the pressure on me at work. I'm in a better place with my faith. I think I've gone through the worst, am on the other side, and ready to rebuild. I have some ideas about how to replenish and renew, and I am hopeful.