My masters program is a fan of intensive courses (if a program can really be a fan?). This week I am participating in my second one. We're doing the bulk of a 3 credit course in one week. That's 5 days in a row, 8:30 am to 4:00 pm. It's an experiential group course, so it kind of makes sense to do it intensively. On the other hand, it is really intense. Let me explain.
Because I was gone from school for a while, I learned about the intensive nature of this course less than two weeks ago. I had to fly to California for a required, in-person, pre-course interview. I also purchased my text books while I was there. I was told I needed to read chapters 1-8 of the book before class and to be here to take a test on them on Friday. (That's why I chose to move on Thursday.) I thought that didn't sound too bad until I got the book and realized that chapters 1-8 was 300 pages of textbook with no pictures or diagrams! So, in addition to packing and goodbyes, I read like crazy that last week in Utah.
After the test on Friday I was reading through the course syllabus and realized that I had to have the DVD/Workbook finished before class started on Monday. It would have been nice to have known that earlier, but probably wouldn't have made much of a difference because I wouldn't have had time for it any earlier. The DVD on group work and challenges facing groups was 3.5 hours long with an accompanying 160 page workbook. Each segment was just a couple minutes long and then I paused so I could answer the associated questions. I assume it was intended to be completed over the course of a semester. I did it in two days. At final count I spent 15 hours over the last two days.
So now it's class all this week. Then I've got a month to turn in a 30 page paper about the experience and my theories on group work. 30 pages! I've definitely never written anything that long before, not even for other graduate courses.
In summary, my thoughts on intensive courses are that I do not prefer them. On the up-side, however, being so busy helps ease the missing-Blake factor. ;)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
On big changes coming WAY too soon
So, I'm not one to make big announcements about myself and am usually hesitant to talk about my plans, especially things that make me nervous. (Anyone remember how long it took me to post about my engagement? It's like that.) I don't know why really; I get embarrassed. I realized recently that this might make me seem kind of flaky to others, or at the very least, that I don't think things through. I do, really. So, I'm breaking the pattern and sharing about what's coming up in my life.
I'm moving to California tomorrow. I know, not much warning, but still better than after the fact. Blake's staying in Salt Lake. We've got our condo for sale but haven't received any offers yet. For any who might not know, I'm working on a masters in Marriage and Family Therapy at Loma Linda University. I took a leave of absence to move back to Utah and get married. My leave is over, and I'm going back to school on Friday. I'll be staying with Kristine's parents in Moreno Valley until Blake can sell the condo and/or find a job in California.
This is sad and scary to me beyond belief. I've cried every day for the last week and probably will continue with that pattern for several more days. It's hard, but we both feel like this is the best we can do with the situation we're in. If you're a praying kind of person, please pray for us. Send good vibes or a buyer or a job our way. We need all the help we can get.
I'm moving to California tomorrow. I know, not much warning, but still better than after the fact. Blake's staying in Salt Lake. We've got our condo for sale but haven't received any offers yet. For any who might not know, I'm working on a masters in Marriage and Family Therapy at Loma Linda University. I took a leave of absence to move back to Utah and get married. My leave is over, and I'm going back to school on Friday. I'll be staying with Kristine's parents in Moreno Valley until Blake can sell the condo and/or find a job in California.
This is sad and scary to me beyond belief. I've cried every day for the last week and probably will continue with that pattern for several more days. It's hard, but we both feel like this is the best we can do with the situation we're in. If you're a praying kind of person, please pray for us. Send good vibes or a buyer or a job our way. We need all the help we can get.
Friday, May 29, 2009
On compatability (and Cowabunga Bay)
I believe that any two people can learn to get along. They can find things to appreciate about one another, adapt, and learn to become compatible. I recognize that this process can be relatively easy or extremely difficult depending on the individuals involved. There is some wisdom and truth in the idea that opposites attract. For any good relationship to form, there also need to be areas of shared interest or concern--some common ground. Frienships form easily when this common ground is easy to find, and sometimes we really have to work at finding it. This week I found two awesome areas of common ground between Blake and I.
1. Ambition. We got into a discussion of our ambitions, especially how those relate to our professional goals. I realized that Blake and I are both quite ambitious people and this is one of the reasons we are great for each other. I totally get why he's dissatisfied with his job. I understand his desire to want to be in a more challenging environment and encourage him to make the changes he wants. He gets why I want to go back to school and is completely supportive of that even though it requires us to make big changes and sacrifices. Ambition is one of the reasons we're great for each other.
2. Childlike Wonderment. We love being kids. We play games and go to the park to feed the ducks and play on the swings. We like kid movies. (I think Blake likes them a little more than I do.) We just play for the sake of playing, and I love it. It's so fun for me to be with someone who appreciates my funny faces and who laughs and plays along when I go on a whimsical tangent.
This love of childhood things is fueling our excitement about the opening of Cowabunga Bay in two weeks. It's a new, totally awesome, waterpark opening in Draper on June 12th. We'll be going on Saturday June 13th, if anyone would like to join us. This is partly in celebration of my last day of work that Friday but also because we really want to go before I move. I even joined the Cowabunga Bay Surfari Club in hopes that they'll send me some kind of awesome opening weekend discount. I haven't been to a waterpark since I was probably 14 years old, and I'm really looking forward to the silliness. It's going to be kid-tastic. See you there!
1. Ambition. We got into a discussion of our ambitions, especially how those relate to our professional goals. I realized that Blake and I are both quite ambitious people and this is one of the reasons we are great for each other. I totally get why he's dissatisfied with his job. I understand his desire to want to be in a more challenging environment and encourage him to make the changes he wants. He gets why I want to go back to school and is completely supportive of that even though it requires us to make big changes and sacrifices. Ambition is one of the reasons we're great for each other.
2. Childlike Wonderment. We love being kids. We play games and go to the park to feed the ducks and play on the swings. We like kid movies. (I think Blake likes them a little more than I do.) We just play for the sake of playing, and I love it. It's so fun for me to be with someone who appreciates my funny faces and who laughs and plays along when I go on a whimsical tangent.
This love of childhood things is fueling our excitement about the opening of Cowabunga Bay in two weeks. It's a new, totally awesome, waterpark opening in Draper on June 12th. We'll be going on Saturday June 13th, if anyone would like to join us. This is partly in celebration of my last day of work that Friday but also because we really want to go before I move. I even joined the Cowabunga Bay Surfari Club in hopes that they'll send me some kind of awesome opening weekend discount. I haven't been to a waterpark since I was probably 14 years old, and I'm really looking forward to the silliness. It's going to be kid-tastic. See you there!
Friday, May 22, 2009
On ugly babies
I hesitate to bring up this sensitive subject, but it weighs on my mind. I am seriously worried that when we start having kids that we might end up with an ugly baby. 
Come on now, you all know what I'm talking about. There are some kids out there that are less than cute. I've noticed it in a few in photo albums on Facebook, and the mothers seem to believe that their ugly children are the cutest ever. (Don't worry, it's not you. I'm fairly certain the people I'm thinking of don't read or even know about my blog.) The parents of these children aren't beautiful movie stars, but they're not ugly people. And yet, somehow the combination of them makes an ugly baby.
This has me concerned. What if we have ugly kids? Will we know? Do we want to know? What should we do? I know, I know. We'll love them and care for them and try to give them the best, just like the beautiful kids. But at the same time, I think it might be kind of embarrassing to have an ugly kid. I don't want to be that parent, that enters her ugly daughter in a beauty pageant and then can't understand why she didn't win. The fact that this bothers me is an indication of my vanity, I suppose. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I'm vain. I think Blake and I are both nice looking people, and I really want us to have beautiful kids.
What do you think?
This
plus this 
has to turn out cute. Right?
Come on now, you all know what I'm talking about. There are some kids out there that are less than cute. I've noticed it in a few in photo albums on Facebook, and the mothers seem to believe that their ugly children are the cutest ever. (Don't worry, it's not you. I'm fairly certain the people I'm thinking of don't read or even know about my blog.) The parents of these children aren't beautiful movie stars, but they're not ugly people. And yet, somehow the combination of them makes an ugly baby.This has me concerned. What if we have ugly kids? Will we know? Do we want to know? What should we do? I know, I know. We'll love them and care for them and try to give them the best, just like the beautiful kids. But at the same time, I think it might be kind of embarrassing to have an ugly kid. I don't want to be that parent, that enters her ugly daughter in a beauty pageant and then can't understand why she didn't win. The fact that this bothers me is an indication of my vanity, I suppose. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I'm vain. I think Blake and I are both nice looking people, and I really want us to have beautiful kids.
What do you think?
This
plus this 
has to turn out cute. Right?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
On "days with my father"
Blake shared this photo-essay with me this morning. It's very well-done and quite touching.
Looking at this makes me want to write, to tell a story. I just don't know what story to tell.
Looking at this makes me want to write, to tell a story. I just don't know what story to tell.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
On Couple Communication training
Blake and I are in the process of becoming Couple Communication instructors. Couple Communication is a marriage enrichment program designed to help couples improve their communication and problem solving and create a collaborative marriage. It's designed for couples who are in fairly stable marriages and want to improve and enrich their relationship.
Programs and self-help books on marriage are a dime a dozen, it seems. Many of them are based on personal experience and opinion. The great thing about Couple Communication is that it is research based. The theory upon which the program is based is backed by research, and the program itself is empirically supported. It works, and they know why it works.
A few weeks ago we went to an all-day training for instructors. Now we have to teach 20 couples to complete our certification. It's usually taught in 4 2-hour sessions. Starting tomorrow we're helping to teach Couple Communication as part of a BYU evening course. We're pretty nervous.
One of the awesome things about this program is that it teaches you skills for solving big and unusual problems. Most people can figure out what to eat for dinner without too much difficulty, but sometimes we get stuck on the big decisions like when to have kids or where to live or what to spend the tax return on. Couple Communication helps you become aware of all aspects of an issue and to listen effectively to your partner. It also guides you through generating options and selecting a plan of action.
We got the instructor materials and one couple packet (each couple who takes the course gets one) in the mail a few weeks before our training began. The packet had these weird looking canvas mats in them. We thought they looked pretty hokey until we used them as part of our training. They are actually really awesome. For practice, Blake and I used the issue of where we'll live when we move. We had been having the same conversation for a few weeks. Using the mats we broke new ground; fleshing out the issue more thoroughly, becoming aware of all aspects, helped us make some real progress. It was awesome. (That's where my thoughts on a real house came from.)
Blake and I are nervous about starting to teach, but we are also really excited about the program and feel like it has real potential to help people.
Programs and self-help books on marriage are a dime a dozen, it seems. Many of them are based on personal experience and opinion. The great thing about Couple Communication is that it is research based. The theory upon which the program is based is backed by research, and the program itself is empirically supported. It works, and they know why it works.
A few weeks ago we went to an all-day training for instructors. Now we have to teach 20 couples to complete our certification. It's usually taught in 4 2-hour sessions. Starting tomorrow we're helping to teach Couple Communication as part of a BYU evening course. We're pretty nervous.
One of the awesome things about this program is that it teaches you skills for solving big and unusual problems. Most people can figure out what to eat for dinner without too much difficulty, but sometimes we get stuck on the big decisions like when to have kids or where to live or what to spend the tax return on. Couple Communication helps you become aware of all aspects of an issue and to listen effectively to your partner. It also guides you through generating options and selecting a plan of action.
We got the instructor materials and one couple packet (each couple who takes the course gets one) in the mail a few weeks before our training began. The packet had these weird looking canvas mats in them. We thought they looked pretty hokey until we used them as part of our training. They are actually really awesome. For practice, Blake and I used the issue of where we'll live when we move. We had been having the same conversation for a few weeks. Using the mats we broke new ground; fleshing out the issue more thoroughly, becoming aware of all aspects, helped us make some real progress. It was awesome. (That's where my thoughts on a real house came from.)
Blake and I are nervous about starting to teach, but we are also really excited about the program and feel like it has real potential to help people.
Friday, May 1, 2009
On a real house
Blake and I listed our condo this week; we've had one showing so far. We're going to California this weekend to look at homes for when we move. I thought today might be an appropriate time for me to share my thoughts on getting a real house.
As we've talked about this move, we've explored a lot of housing options and done quite a bit of research already. As we're looking at home prices, mortgage rates, and rent rates, we're thinking that buying a home makes the most financial sense right now. We're looking for a place we would live in for 10 years or more. Thinking about this while looking at online home listings got me so excited (also a little scared, but mostly excited). We used this issue for a practice in Couple Communication training (that post is coming soon), and I became aware of a whole new aspect of it that is especially meaningful for me.
Over the course of my life I've moved more times than is healthy for one individual. It's unreal. The longest I've lived anywhere was 8 years in Orem with Grandma Jean. It was wonderful of her to take us in. However, in all the time I lived there, I knew it wasn't my house. I was comfortable and welcome there, but I knew I was a guest. Since I graduated from high school, I've only lived in one place for a year, and all the rest were of shorter duration. Apparently I'm a nomad.
The thought that very soon we'll have a real house that we'll stay in for a long time is so incredibly comforting to me. It's like finally glimpsing the light at the end of a very long tunnel. My nomadic sojourn may soon be over. I can unpack boxes and throw them away, instead of saving them for the next move. I won't be living out of rubermaid containers. We can have a yard and plant plants and trees and flowers . . . and be there to see them grow! Making friends with the neighbors will be worth the effort. We can be in a ward long enough to make friends, and maybe hold more than one calling per ward. This is actually a really emotional thing for me: a real house! :D
For anyone who's interested, but mostly for my own amusement, I have decided to chronicle my homes/moves as best I can remember with the most distinctive things I remember from the place or my time there. The first few years are pretty fuzzy.
Salt Lake City (across from Dennis and Sondra): birth-18 months
Reseda, CA maybe?: I think when my parents divorced we lived with my grandma for a bit, but I'm not totally sure about that. It seems to me that I heard somewhere that we might have crashed with Allan and Kris during that time as well, but again, I don't really know.
Orem, UT cul-de-sac house: about a year, until Mom and Ray got married
Orem, UT across from Resse: about a year. Patti came and played a lot.
Dana Point, CA: 2 years or so. Kindergarten for sure, and maybe first grade too. Awesome pool.
San Juan Capistrano, CA: 1 year. Bamboo ceilings.
Dana Point, CA: 1 year. Atrium, sinking in the back.
Olathe, Kansas: 6 months. With Allan and Kris.
Orem, UT: 8 years. With Grandma Jean.
Malibu/Jackson Hole/Orem: 3 months. Spent the summer with my mom in the Nedra world.
Taylor Hall: 8 months. Freshman dorms with Jackie from high school.
Saratoga Springs: 4 months. Lived at my mom's house for the summer.
Quetzaltenango, Guatemala: 2 weeks. It was supposed to be longer, but I came home early.
Tree House, Provo: 2 months. One klepto roommate and the other covered our hallway with pictures of naked men.
Blue House, Provo: 5 months. Next door to an ex-boyfriend. Yuck.
Roman Gardens, Provo: 4 months. Spa Jongg. Mission Call.
Saratoga Springs: 6 weeks. Getting ready for the mission.
MTC: 2 months.
Edinburg, TX: 4 months. Small apartment complex in the middle of a field, literally. Neighbor's car said "You're worst nightmare" on the bumper. Classic.
Brownsville, TX: 3 months. White trash at it's finest. On cinder blocks, holes in the floor that allowed you to see the grass underneath, a washer that had to be filled by running the garden hose in through the window.
Corpus Christi, TX: 3 months. One room and gross.
McAllen, TX: 4 months. After I scrubbed the tub on my first p-day there, my companion said in surprise "Oh, it's really white?" Yeah.
Brownsville, TX: 3 months. Nicer apartment. Neighbor took our clothes out of the driers and stacked them all together, on several occasions. We had to be vigilant. Accidentally wearing another missionary's underwear once is enough.
Saragota Springs: 4 months. Coming home was hard. Got to work in the nursery at church.
DeVere Court Apartments: 8 months. Downstairs neighbor was our "sticom neighbor."
Alta Apartments: 4 months. Adventures with "box boy."
Alcala de Henares, Spain: 4 months. Wonderful. Good food, nice family, great culture. Awesome.
The House on 800 North: 1 year. Real kitchen and living room. Craziest landlady ever.
Number B, Salt Lake: 8 months. Townhouse with Kim and Jodie, what could be better?
Redlands, CA: 6 weeks. Little place. Just long enough to complete the first big class of grad school.
Saratoga Springs: 2 months. Wedding planning and looking for work.
South Salt Lake: almost 5 months so far. Great place, but it's temporary.
So, there you have it. Pretty incredible. I think I could die a happy woman with 1-2 more additions to that list for the whole rest of my life. A real house!! :D
As we've talked about this move, we've explored a lot of housing options and done quite a bit of research already. As we're looking at home prices, mortgage rates, and rent rates, we're thinking that buying a home makes the most financial sense right now. We're looking for a place we would live in for 10 years or more. Thinking about this while looking at online home listings got me so excited (also a little scared, but mostly excited). We used this issue for a practice in Couple Communication training (that post is coming soon), and I became aware of a whole new aspect of it that is especially meaningful for me.
Over the course of my life I've moved more times than is healthy for one individual. It's unreal. The longest I've lived anywhere was 8 years in Orem with Grandma Jean. It was wonderful of her to take us in. However, in all the time I lived there, I knew it wasn't my house. I was comfortable and welcome there, but I knew I was a guest. Since I graduated from high school, I've only lived in one place for a year, and all the rest were of shorter duration. Apparently I'm a nomad.
The thought that very soon we'll have a real house that we'll stay in for a long time is so incredibly comforting to me. It's like finally glimpsing the light at the end of a very long tunnel. My nomadic sojourn may soon be over. I can unpack boxes and throw them away, instead of saving them for the next move. I won't be living out of rubermaid containers. We can have a yard and plant plants and trees and flowers . . . and be there to see them grow! Making friends with the neighbors will be worth the effort. We can be in a ward long enough to make friends, and maybe hold more than one calling per ward. This is actually a really emotional thing for me: a real house! :D
For anyone who's interested, but mostly for my own amusement, I have decided to chronicle my homes/moves as best I can remember with the most distinctive things I remember from the place or my time there. The first few years are pretty fuzzy.
Salt Lake City (across from Dennis and Sondra): birth-18 months
Reseda, CA maybe?: I think when my parents divorced we lived with my grandma for a bit, but I'm not totally sure about that. It seems to me that I heard somewhere that we might have crashed with Allan and Kris during that time as well, but again, I don't really know.
Orem, UT cul-de-sac house: about a year, until Mom and Ray got married
Orem, UT across from Resse: about a year. Patti came and played a lot.
Dana Point, CA: 2 years or so. Kindergarten for sure, and maybe first grade too. Awesome pool.
San Juan Capistrano, CA: 1 year. Bamboo ceilings.
Dana Point, CA: 1 year. Atrium, sinking in the back.
Olathe, Kansas: 6 months. With Allan and Kris.
Orem, UT: 8 years. With Grandma Jean.
Malibu/Jackson Hole/Orem: 3 months. Spent the summer with my mom in the Nedra world.
Taylor Hall: 8 months. Freshman dorms with Jackie from high school.
Saratoga Springs: 4 months. Lived at my mom's house for the summer.
Quetzaltenango, Guatemala: 2 weeks. It was supposed to be longer, but I came home early.
Tree House, Provo: 2 months. One klepto roommate and the other covered our hallway with pictures of naked men.
Blue House, Provo: 5 months. Next door to an ex-boyfriend. Yuck.
Roman Gardens, Provo: 4 months. Spa Jongg. Mission Call.
Saratoga Springs: 6 weeks. Getting ready for the mission.
MTC: 2 months.
Edinburg, TX: 4 months. Small apartment complex in the middle of a field, literally. Neighbor's car said "You're worst nightmare" on the bumper. Classic.
Brownsville, TX: 3 months. White trash at it's finest. On cinder blocks, holes in the floor that allowed you to see the grass underneath, a washer that had to be filled by running the garden hose in through the window.
Corpus Christi, TX: 3 months. One room and gross.
McAllen, TX: 4 months. After I scrubbed the tub on my first p-day there, my companion said in surprise "Oh, it's really white?" Yeah.
Brownsville, TX: 3 months. Nicer apartment. Neighbor took our clothes out of the driers and stacked them all together, on several occasions. We had to be vigilant. Accidentally wearing another missionary's underwear once is enough.
Saragota Springs: 4 months. Coming home was hard. Got to work in the nursery at church.
DeVere Court Apartments: 8 months. Downstairs neighbor was our "sticom neighbor."
Alta Apartments: 4 months. Adventures with "box boy."
Alcala de Henares, Spain: 4 months. Wonderful. Good food, nice family, great culture. Awesome.
The House on 800 North: 1 year. Real kitchen and living room. Craziest landlady ever.
Number B, Salt Lake: 8 months. Townhouse with Kim and Jodie, what could be better?
Redlands, CA: 6 weeks. Little place. Just long enough to complete the first big class of grad school.
Saratoga Springs: 2 months. Wedding planning and looking for work.
South Salt Lake: almost 5 months so far. Great place, but it's temporary.
So, there you have it. Pretty incredible. I think I could die a happy woman with 1-2 more additions to that list for the whole rest of my life. A real house!! :D
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