In a recent clinical supervision meeting, we were discussing the importance of being direct with our clients, discussing openly and honestly the reality of what is happening in their lives and families, not holding back our true opinions (which is these situations are expert opinions) out of fear of offending or hurting them. We don't do them any favors if we withhold important information. We can do this without being judgmental, meaning we don't think less of them or blame them for their problems or shame them for having these problems. Talking honestly, openly, and directly is not the same thing as being judgmental.
This realization about what is and is not being judgmental has gradually dawned on me over the past few years and finally crystallized into words in the meeting I described above. Living this way is incredibly freeing. I don't have the decide if something or someone is good or bad, righteous or wicked, at fault or not. It just is what it is. Living without judgment also means living without blame. I love it!
To be sure there is some benefit to me letting myself live without judgement of myself, being less critical of myself, not worrying quite so much what other people think of me. The most surprising thing, though, has been how freeing it feels to live without the burden of needing to make judgments about others. Other people can do and be and choose whatever they want, and I get to do and be and choose whatever I want.
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