On a quick trip to Utah

I'm making a quick trip to Utah this week.  There's a 4 day training on Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples that I'll be attending.  This is awesome to me for a couple of reasons.  First, I'm working with EFT for my big final case project coming up.  So, extra training can only help me do better on that.  Second, I've been reading things lately about how couples therapy is the hardest type of therapy and that most therapists get very little if any training in how to work with couples.  Historically therapist training has focused on individuals or parent-child interactions.  I actually like working with couples.  So, getting extra training in EFT, which is especially designed for couples, is extra awesome in getting me expertise that not everyone has.  Third,  we don't know where we're going to live after I graduate next year, and making a few networking connections in Salt Lake by attending the conference there can't hurt.

Any extra time I have while I'm in town will be spent with my mommy.  She's recovering from surgery.  In fact, when I get in, we're going right from the airport to the hospital to get her staples taken out.  My mom's surgery was the added motivation I needed to get myself to this conference and a big part of why I chose the Salt Lake location instead of San Diego (also, the San Diego one was more expensive).

The long and short of it is, I'm going to be in Utah for a few days but probably won't see any of my people there.  Sorry.  My trip has two very specific and time intensive purposes.  Hopefully I can catch you all when we're in town for the holidays.

On choosing a name for the baby

Somehow picking out a name for the new baby isn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be.  I feel so much pressure to pick out the right name.  We, well I, don't want to go with something too weird, that no one will ever pronounce or spell correctly.  We also don't want a name that is so common that she always has to go by her first name and last initial either.

We have a couple names of family members that we like.  We also have a couple non-family but completely adorable names that we like.  Somehow writing them out seems so final, like it's going to be one of these.  I also think I should check with Blake before I go posting our options.  We haven't really discussed how public we want to be with our decision making process.

For now, anyone have any advice or encouraging words about how to choose a name for a baby?  When did you decide?  Are we freaking out way too early?  And now, snack time for me and 'lil what's-her-name.  She's hungry.

On siblings

My family therapy textbooks tell me that sibling relationships are the longest, most consistent relationships most people will have throughout their lives.  Parents die.  Coworkers and neighbors are transient.  Friendships fade.  Spouses come and go.  With the exception of a few short years on either side, siblings are with us throughout our entire lives.  We have more in common with them than anyone else.

My experience seems to corroborate this finding.  I don't remember Grandma Jean or Grandpa Hook talking too much about friends, but they sure talked about and spent a lot of time with their siblings.  My mom had surgery yesterday.  Who took her to the hospital, waited during the surgery, and called me and Ben after it was over?  Her brothers.  I'm so glad that she has them and her sister.

Sometimes I get jealous of sibling relationships.  Mine aren't normal, if there even is such a thing.  I want to make it clear that I would not trade Ben for anything in the world.  Still, our sibling relationship isn't equal; he'll always depend on me.  I have a half-brother and half-sister; we have the same dad.  We didn't see each other much growing up and aren't close now.  My sister has told me she doesn't really think of me as a sister.  It's kind of sad, but it's okay.  I understand.

I get jealous sometimes when I hear people talk about how much they love their sisters or how nice it is to go to their brothers for advice.  I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone, but sometimes I get kind of sad when I hear it.  I wonder, 30 years from now, if Blake wasn't around, who would be there to take me to the hospital, wait with me, and call my kids to let them know it's okay?  More likely than not, there will be a time when I will need to care for my aging mother, and I won't have a sibling to help me make the decisions about how that should be done.  I wonder who will help me many, many years in the future when I need to plan a funeral and settle affairs.

I don't mean to be a downer or to make anyone feel sorry for me.  I have a great life.  I have a wonderful extended family and have always been blessed with wonderful friends.  I'm sure when I need one, a "brother" or "sister" will be there to help me get through.  They just won't be the kind of brothers and sisters who share biological parents.  These are things I think about.  Thanks for reading.

On missing Utah

Because I am not a fan of snow, winter sports, winter driving, or being cold, I most definitely did not miss living in Utah this winter or spring.  However, as the official end of summer has now come and gone, I find myself missing Utah.  Who would have ever thought I would that?

Part of my longing is due to lifestyle changes (like work and school), for sure, but another part of it certainly comes from the weather being too hot down here to do much of anything outdoors.  Our responsibilities at church on Sundays have also kept us from having some adventures we might have undertaken otherwise.

This summer I missed camping and hiking and picnics at the park or in a canyon.  I missed farmer's markets (most I've come across here happen on Sundays or are so far away as to make a weekly visit impractical).  I missed solitude and space that comes with camping and hiking.  There are just so many people down here.  I don't really notice it and am not bothered by it until I think about being without it for a little while.  Sounds nice.  I missed 2 holidays in July.  I also missed my rodeos.  Have I posted before about how much I love rodeo?  I'll have to check.  When I realized last week that I hadn't been to a rodeo all summer, I did a little researching and found out that there are two coming up in our area in the next few months.  So I'll still be able to get my rodeo fix.

Summer here hasn't been all bad, don't get me wrong.  We've done and seen some wonderful things.  I've just been missing my usual Utah summer fun.

Visiting the LA County Fair brought about a lot of this thinking.  It was great!  It also had some pretty interesting differences from the Cache County and Utah State Fairs we visited last year.  The baby wrote about it on it's blog, if you want to read about that experience.

On the last 100 days

According to my pregnancy calendar app on my phone, yesterday was day 100 of pregnancy.  That seems like a really long time, and gave me reason to reflect on the last 100 days.  This summer seems like one long list of good intentions gone awry.  I took two classes, which weren't all that difficult considering all I've done in the past year.  And yet, I didn't complete the reading for either class (although I still have every intention of finishing at some time) and turned in my final projects late.  That is SO not like me.  I had great intentions of getting a head start on my final project for next spring. That hasn't happened.  I wanted to work on a quilt I've been making.  It only got about an hour of my attention all summer.

Here's why.  Mostly these are excuses to myself, but whatever.  I think I was burned out after a year of intense work.  I got pregnant.  Not only was this distracting, but that whole first trimester fatigue stuff is no joke.  I didn't have morning sickness too bad, but did experience nausea every day for about 2 months.  Something about feeling sick to my stomach all the time sapped my motivation to do work.  I went through some intensely emotional experiences with my dad's family.  The effects are still lingering with me.  It doesn't seem like a few emails and phone conversations should be able to completely consume your life, energy, and thoughts, but that's exactly what happened.  It comes and goes.

On the other hand, I got to take an amazing vacation.  I've had some great times with friends and family over the summer: BBQs, the Shakespeare Festival, days at the pool, game nights.  I got pregnant!  We saw the baby move and kick during an ultrasound and got to share that exciting news with our families and close friends.  We did some interviewing and researching and decided on a wonderful pair of midwives to assist at the birth of our baby.  They're coming to our house tomorrow for our first official prenatal appointment.

Will the next 100 days have as many ups and downs?  Probably.  That's life, that's normal for any 100 days.

On taking care of myself

I've had a really rough couple of days.  I could use some cheering up.

If you wouldn't mind, leave me a comment that will either make me laugh or feel good about myself.

Thanks friends!

On killer salads

I'll take a small break from vacation writing to tell you about the killer salads Blake and I made this week.  With the ridiculous summer heat *(see note at bottom) we were looking for cool, fresh dinner options.  "Killer salad fixins" was on our shopping list.  This is what the killer salads consisted of:

a combination of spinach and green leaf lettuce, but mostly spinach
tomatoes
avocado
cheddar cheese
gala apples
craisins
honey roasted sunflower kernels
champagne pear gorgonzola dressing from Trader Joes

The whole time we were eating them we kept saying how awesome they were and how we were so impressed with ourselves for matching the flavors so well.  It seemed like we needed to share with someone, and that someone is you.  We're having killer salads again tonight.  I can't wait!

*Last week it finally go REALLY hot here.  The kind of hot that got us to turn on our A/C and had us seriously thinking about moving.  I walked outside a building at school today just after 1pm and thought to myself on the way to the car, "Wow, it's noticeably cooler out here.  How nice to have a break from the heat."  I checked the temperature when I got to the car--97.  THAT was noticeably cooler.